If I Question God, do I Still Have Faith?
- Lori Joy
- Apr 5
- 9 min read
Updated: Apr 5
Have you ever faced big challenges in life and wondered "God, where are you?" Maybe you wondered if God had abandoned you? Maybe you've struggled with a certain passage of scripture and wondered "Can this really be true? "Or perhaps you struggle with an interpretation of passage... one church will interpret a scripture one way and another church might interpret the same scripture another way. Which is true? It can be quite perplexing even for a seasoned Christian, and even more so for a newer Christian. So how do we overcome confusion and doubt? How do we keep from stumbling over our questions and concerns?
If I question God, do I still have faith?
First of all, understand who the author of confusion is.
Yes, it is the adversary, every Christian's enemy. It is Satan himself who strives to confuse, confound, to bring doubt, and to destroy. But please don't you go off feeling guilty or condemned that you've had confusing or doubtful thoughts. It is a fact indeed that every Christian will sometimes struggle in pondering certain matters of faith, or Biblical context and interpretation, and may also struggle to understand why bad stuff happens in their life from time to time.
One of the biggest lies of the enemy that we need to understand is that just because we are Christians... does not mean that life will magically always be perfect, and that we will never have any problems to overcome. The reality of living in this imperfect world is that we do often face trials and tribulations from time to time. And for some of us... it may well seem like we've been chosen to take on far more than our fair share of those trials and tribulations. Sometimes that can be quite difficult to deal with, and we feel weak as if we could bare no more.
But let us be reminded that Jesus said:
In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”- John 16:33
Jesus said those words to encourage us, knowing what was ahead... knowing he would be hung on the Cross to die, and knowing His disciples and followers would also scatter and hide in fear for their own lives. But it took a while for His followers to fully comprehend Christ's words of encouragement. But, thankfully they did come to understand in fullness, and they went on to encourage others that they also might see the hope they have in Jesus.
My Own Time of Struggle and What God brought me through
Back in the close of 2003, I had just endured the worst year of my life. I had spent that year in an abusive marriage, and the pregnancy hormones did not help my coping skills in any way... it magnified every traumatic event 100 fold. In the later part of the summer that year my dad had passed away rather unexpectedly. A month later I endure one of the rarest complications in the delivery of my child and I very nearly died. Doctors did not expect me to live. By God's grace I did survive, but the many surgeries I needed to repair my insides after left me bed ridden for a couple months, and once on my feet I could barely amble about and had not the strength to even hold my newborn child in my arms without much pain.
I was a Figure Skating Coach at the time, and I struggled to continue coaching without being on the ice. I could not do any choreography for the skaters as a result. My husband's abuse was getting worse, and that too was negatively affecting my ability to work. By the end of November the abuse had escalated to the point where I had to call police to assist with my safely leaving my husband. I and my infant child were placed at a Woman's shelter until it was safe for me to return to my home. My husband, who was American, was then forced to leave Canada as his visitor's permit had expired.
In the aftermath of that, I lost my job at the skating club because the board was concerned for the safety of the young skaters if my ex should return and seek vengeance, so for the first time in my life having no means of income and no one to babysit so I could work... I was forced to go on Social Assistance. I also soon after learned that the home I was living in was mold infested, and not fit to live in. So at 36 years of age I had to go back to living with my mom.
It was the lowest point of my life. I felt so worthless. I felt like the biggest failure ever on the planet. I felt utterly humiliated and demoralized. But more than that... I felt as if God had abandoned me, and I could not understand why. Throughout every ordeal I kept praying, hoping, and trusting God to work everything out. At the time it seemed to me like nothing was working out, like none of my prayers were being answered. It was difficult to see hope during that time. My eyes were clouded by the trauma such that I could not at the time see how God was working on my and my child's behalf to protect us. It was so hard to endure and the enemy Satan was working overtime to keep me discouraged and to destroy my faith.
1 Peter 5:8 says:
“Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
Other translations say "seeking whom he may destroy." Thankfully I was aware of this scripture at the time. But my view was skewed at the time by the profound hurt I had experienced in the circumstances of that time. I was upset, feeling that God had not protected me to the extent that I felt he should have, and I questioned why God, who could "change the hearts of Kings" did not or could not change my husband as I had been praying for. So I cried out to God in my anguish, asking "Why did He allow this to happen to me?" and "Why couldn't he change my Husband so he would stop being abusive to me?" I mournfully cried saying, "It hurts so bad God! I don't understand why you allowed this to happen... I don't understand why you could not answer my prayers to change my husband to be a kind and loving man." And I closed my anguished prayer with submission to God's will saying, "I am hurting and struggling God, but still I will cling to you. Still I will put my trust in you that You will turn everything around for good, and to help me overcome and heal from this bitterness, anger, and heart wrenching pain that I am feeling. But help me God, because this hurts so much, and it is so difficult to cope right now. Mercy Lord... have mercy on me God!"
Recovery and Healing from the hurt
Well it has certainly been a long journey since those most painful days; but, I can testify that God did slowly heal my heart. As well, God helped to open my eyes to all the many ways that He WAS there for me during that darkest point of my life, protecting me from the enemy's plan of death and destruction. And while Satan used those awful circumstances to try to get me to turn away from God, and destroy my joy wherever he could in the effort to make me a useless or ineffective worker for God's kingdom. But thankfully God was intervening for me. What I could not see at the time because sorrow so clouded my eyes was that:
1) While the enemy did try hard to end my life when I delivered my child, it was still a "miracle of God" that I lived. I was told by the nurses at the hospital that no one before me who had that particular complication had lived. Understanding this turned my heart and thinking from "Woe is me" and "Why me?"... to "Wow! God ain't done with me yet. He must still have a purpose for me." and "Thank and Praise you Jesus!"
2) Even though at that time in my life I felt weak, weary, and like I could not possible continue on... God was still there lifting me up and carrying me when needed. Even when circumstances were so dark that I could not see hope, God put people in my path who kept reminding me of His hope enabling me to keep hanging on, even if only by a thread. God used them to help me know that as dark as it seems now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and even though it may seem like such a tiny speck... just keep walking towards the light. Eventually you will reach the end of that tunnel and find yourself in the full daylight.
God used a multitude of other good Christians around me to give me encouragement and hope. They shared from their own experiences how God brought them from sorrowful rags and ashes, into a life of joy and fulfillment... and they encouraged me that God will do the same for me too. They reminded me that our Lord is a God of Mercy and Grace, and that it is the enemy who seeks to destroy.
Sometimes it was even total strangers walking up to me sharing a word of encouragement that I needed. There was one time, I had to dip into my money set aside for paying bills because my daughter's shoes were worn right through and the sole ripped right off, so we could not put off any longer buying her a new pair. Before we left for the mall I prayed, "God, I don't know how you're gonna do it, but you know my needs and I am going to trust in you to provide". After buying the shoes, we had stopped to sit and have lunch. A couple of total strangers (I assumed husband and wife) walked up to our table... we engaged in some polite conversation for a few minutes sharing our faith in God, and then they handed me a small envelope and said "God told us to give this to you today, God bless you." and then they walked away. My first thought that it was probably a tract or something of that sort... you know, the kind that tells about Jesus and invites you to accept Jesus into your heart and life. But when I opened it, I found it was a short note of encouragement reminding me to trust that God will provide, along with two $50 bills. The very amount I borrowed from my "household bills savings" to pay for my daughter's shoes and our lunch that afternoon.
PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Which brings me to the final thing to remember...
God will make the way... even if there seems to be no way.
Your eyes may not be able to see how God will do what needs to be done... but just trust God anyway.
Remember Luke 12:24 (ESV) - "Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!"
and, Matthew 6:31-32 (ESV) - "Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all."
So is it wrong to question God? Does it mean that I don't have faith?
There is nothing in scripture that says that it is "wrong", so relax... you won't be condemned to Hell's fires. But it is very much an indicator that our knowledge or strength is weakened, or lacking, in that moment. It's an indicator that in the midst of our trial and tribulation we have forgotten who the author of such confusion is, and in that confusion, we start feeling like we are sinking in the mud and mire that we have stumbled into. We need always to be mindful that there are several biblical accounts of people asking God why this or that happened to them. Even Jesus cried out "My God, why have you forsaken me?"
Matthew 27:46 (ESV) - "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, 'Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?' that is, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'”
The important thing to know is this... What matters is that we cry out to the Father to save us, and to help us out of the mire. When we do, we are putting our trust and faith in Him to bring us through. So rather than feeling guilty for your moment of weakness... know that God understands, and that He is there to help you through. And stand in that faith.
Don't turn your back on God just because life gets hard at times. Understand who the author of calamity and tribulation is... and put on your "armour of God" so you can do battle against the enemy. And if you feel your armour is lacking, then put your trust in the Lord to shield you from the rest and get you through it all ok.
God will see you through, even when you can not see the way. God already has a plan, and He has already won the victory. Let Him lead you to the Victory. What a story of overcoming you will have to share when all is said and done. Then encourage others with it, so that they too will have hope, and will keep striving to move forward towards the victory that God has for them.
I pray this will encourage all who read it, and that God will give you the strength to face whatever battles that lay before you today and always. In Jesus mighty name. Amen!
Comments